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A wonderful spiritual teacher and friend of mine, Mary
Morrissey, used to tell a story about the boll weevil. She said that in 1915,
an insect called the boll weevil single-handedly wiped out the cotton crop in
Alabama. It caused a vast famine in that region for several years to follow.
The farmers could no longer grow enough cotton to make a living. Shortly after,
they shifted their crop to peanuts. By 1925, there was so much prosperity among
southern farmers that they constructed a monument to the very insect that
caused the earlier destruction. Had it not been for the boll weevil, the
economy would not have flourished.
We have all experienced boll weevils in our lives—events
that carry the appearance of negativity. How willing are we to trust God and to
see the gifts in them?
In my life, I have seen many boll weevils. I've dealt with
devastating loss, tremendous disappointments, crippling fear and terror,
plaguing doubt, persistent shame, chronic physical pain, and serious illness. I
have truly walked through the fire and can honestly say I have experienced
dramatic change for the better. I've become a much better version of myself.
First, I shifted from Victim Consciousness to
Responsibility. Simply put, no person or circumstance had the power to hurt me
anymore. I no longer looked at life as something that was happening to me, but
rather through me. The freedom that came with this realization was
incredible. Now, I live much closer to a blame-free existence. I get to choose
my reactions instead of being a reactionary machine and feeling powerless to
change them. I no longer have to wait for people or situations to change in
order for me to be happy. It's completely up to me, and it's completely an
inside job.
Secondly, I became a witness to my feelings. I no longer
mistake my feelings for being ME or tied to my identity somehow. I am not my
feelings. They are simply passing through on a mission to provide me relevant
information and point me to where my thinking is out of alignment.
Thirdly, I no longer resist my feelings. I can now give
myself permission to feel them. In the past, I had the tendency to do a
"spiritual bypass." I would not allow myself to really have my
feelings; I would explain them away "spiritually" because somehow I
believed it wasn't very "enlightened" to have them. I came to
understand how important it was to embrace all of myself, including my
feelings. In essence, every time I rejected them, I rejected myself. This
awareness created an opportunity for me to love myself at a much deeper level
than ever before. I never really knew what it meant to love myself—what would
that even involve? Honoring my feelings became a real, tangible way for me to
do that.
Fourthly, I got in my own corner. In other words, I learned
to show up for myself through rough times. Instead of playing the victim,
judging myself, feeling like a loser, or having a pity party, I learned to have
compassion and patience with myself... and ultimately to trust God that
whatever was happening in my life that I clearly didn't like was actually a
boll weevil pushing me to a higher vision of myself. Whether we are aware of it
or not, this is a necessary part of spiritual growth that moves us closer to
what we really want, not further away.
Ever hear that expression, "we must become the change
we want to see in the world"? I can no longer deny that the more
forgiving, compassionate, gentle, and patient I am with myself, the more loving
my world seems to be. That's a pretty good payoff.
When boll weevils appear in your life, it's always an
opportunity for significant growth. Start by asking yourself these questions:
- In
what way can I move through this experience that will earn my own
self-respect?
- Am I
willing to trust my Higher Power that these circumstances hold a hidden
benefit for me that I may not understand or recognize right now?
- Am I
willing to see myself as empowered rather than a victim?
- Am I
willing to show up for myself through this in every way I can, no matter
what?
Showing up for yourself in these ways is the best and
fastest medicine I know for whatever ails you.
The boll weevils present us the opportunity to love
ourselves deeper, trust God more, and ultimately emerge with more faith and
confidence in the Good that awaits us. Embrace them now and you will give
thanks for them later.
To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,
Donna Gershman
PS. Do you want to tackle a Boll weevil in your life and
turn it into gold? Call me at 818-904-6840 or email me at youwillheal@aol.com
to set up a free 15 minute consultation.
