When I was 11

When I was 11 years old, I had a dream that changed my life. I heard a voice say to me, “I am going to tell you the secret to all life, and when you wake up in the morning, you will not remember what it is, and you will spend many years searching for it”

Then I remember the voice telling me what the secret was and my response to it being “Oh my God, I knew it, I knew it!!!!!” It was so simple…the kind of thing that’s right in front of your face, but you just don’t see it.

The next morning I woke up and couldn’t remember what it was, just that it was simple. The voice was right. I searched and searched for many years, and then one day, I remembered. It just sort of dawned on me as if it had been there all along; hidden in plain view. The answer was LOVE.

Several years later when I was 24, I went backpacking in Europe. One night, while at a youth Hostel in Switzerland, I was talking with a friend when the evening bell rang signaling it was time for lights out.  We weren’t the slightest bit tired so we decided to move our conversation into the ladies room, the only place available to talk. I remember our conversation getting deeper and deeper until finally she told me a story about a dream she had had when she was 11. A voice spoke to her and said “I am going to tell you the secret to all life, and when you wake up in the morning, you will not remember what it is and you will spend many years searching for it”. I bet you can guess the rest. She had had the same exact experience as me, word for word. 

I then told her of my story. We were so astonished; we sat there in silence for the rest of the night.

I never knew what to make of it all, really. Why was I given the secret? Why was she given it? How many others were?  Over the years though, I feel I may have missed the greater point, LOVE.

I ask myself now, “What did I learn from all that? How did it change my life, or has it?” I wonder if I have made real use of the information given to me. The only conclusion that I can draw, is that every issue that has ever plagued me could have been resolved a lot easier if I had really taken heed of the lesson; that Love is the secret to all life; so simple and yet so allusive.

I believe the #1 cause of most issues we deal with on a daily basis could be traced back to our inability to truly appreciate ourselves on every level of our being; to accept ourselves completely without judgment and to genuinely love ourselves as we are, right now….not after we figure it all out or become our ultimate vision of ourselves. If the answer to all life is Love, then most of our human problems are due to the lack of it! Not from the outer world, but from own our inner one.

Ironically, if you ask someone if they love themselves, they will probably say “yes”. Then ask them if they are happy with who they are, with the way their lives look, with the choices they have made. Ask them how much time they take for themselves, or whether they are eating healthy foods, taking care of their bodies, and spending ample time to rest and rejuvenate. Are they expressing their feelings in a healing way? Are they following their passion? Do they trust themselves? The answers to these questions are illuminating as to whether someone actually loves themselves or if they just “think” they do.

If I’m honest with myself, I’m sure I love my dog, better than me. I can’t look at him without smiling. I love being with him, never get bored with him or even mad at him. If he ever does something I don’t like, I forgive him easily. I always see the best in him, and would go to the ends of the earth for him. I love him unconditionally, and yet I’m still trying to figure out how to love ME that well.

Just for a moment, bring to mind someone you really love. It could be a family member, a spouse, a friend, a teacher, a beloved pet, anyone at all. Now, feel the feelings of love you have for them. Feel how strong they are. Feel the gratitude you have for knowing them, for being in their lives. Feel how good it feels, just to Love. That energy you are feeling is healing. It can heal anything within you and it can heal others. Now ask yourself, “Is this the energy you feel toward yourself?” Do you feel this same kind of love, gratitude, and appreciation for yourself? Do you feel the same desire to be there for yourself no matter what, and to support yourself the same way you would for someone you love?

The secret to all life is Love, and yet at best, most of us are practicing “conditional loving”. Sometimes, we find reasons why it’s ok to love ourselves, and other times we find reasons why it’s not, and we do the same with other people. They have to earn our Love. We have to decide we like them first, trust them and understand them, before we feel it’s safe to love them. We love them "conditionally".

With ourselves, we have to be perfect, make perfect choices, look perfect, have our life look perfect, get treated perfectly by everyone else, etc…and then we’ll love ourselves "conditionally", until something falls out of place and we withhold our love again.

Take that Love energy that you feel for others, and direct some towards yourself right now, unconditionally, and you will begin to heal yourself, your life and be able to truly love those around you. 

Imagine a world, where we all loved ourselves and each other, without reason and just because.

I believe this is the First and Final Frontier for us all; what we have been charged with, and what we are here to learn.

The answer to all life, is LOVE, and the Love within you, is enough to change the world.

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman, ALSP

PS. You can heal, and you don't have to do it alone! If you or someone you know needs support in healing any issue, whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, please feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation.