Twenty-five years ago, a friend of mine sat me down on a curb and said the ugliest thing
she could ever possibly say to me. At least, that’s how I felt about it at the
time. It was heinous really, horribly painful and yes….
I took it deeply personally. I couldn’t
believe anyone who claimed to love me, would ever say something like that…especially
to my face! I mean, couldn’t she have the common decency to keep her feelings to herself? Better yet, why wasn’t she like the other people in my
life who just distanced themselves from me quietly, and then disappeared out of my life forever leaving
me to wonder why? I was used to that. What I wasn’t used to was having someone
tell me to my face how they felt…to tell me their truth, no matter how ugly it
sounded, no matter how I would feel or react. When I think about it now, it was
a pure act of bravery on her part.
That day,
that conversation changed me. It hurt so badly I could hardly breathe, but in the
midst of my pain I heard something. I heard that there was a gift in this for
me….and if I could hear what she was saying just beyond the blame and judgment,
(my own and hers) I would find it.
Then, the
gift was made apparent: She was telling me the truth….Yikes.
I am no
shrinking flower. You should know that about me. I don’t take things lying down
normally. If I feel scorned you will know about it, especially back in those
days. So, this is what she was up against. She had to look me in the eye,
knowing this conversation was probably not going to go well, and tell me anyway.
To this day,
I will always appreciate the fact that instead of giving up on me, she fought
for me. She gave me the benefit of the doubt, believed I was worth it, and
risked everything to tell me her truth in the face of serious backlash.
I learned
that day that sometimes you have to be willing to be wrong to be ultimately happy.
I could have defended my position, made her wrong, fought back just to be “right”
and to feel better temporarily, but something inside me decided to yield instead,
to take in what she said however clumsily articulated, and to hear the truth of
it.
After many
years of practicing, I am now proud to tell you I am mastering the art of
being wrong! And I am a much better person for it.
To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,
Donna Gershman ALSP
PS. You can heal, and you don't have to do it alone! If you or someone you know needs support in healing any issue, whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, please feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation.
