Showing posts with label open heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label open heart. Show all posts

Friday, November 7, 2014

Falling Down


                                                                
Last year I told you of a story that happened many years ago when I had an accident while getting my oil changed at a new service station. I unwittingly fell down a 15 foot hole and lived to tell about it. I had what I consider to be a spiritual event as I was falling down that hole, that changed the way I thought forever. You can read about it here: http://www.youwillheal.blogspot.com/2009/10/decision-of-your-life.html

But there was a second part of that story I never told you, and that is what happened after I left the station that day and drove off in my car. This part of the story tells of the single biggest miracle I had ever witnessed in my life, until that day.

I drove off in a daze, partly because I had a concussion, and partly because I was confused. “Wow, what  just happened to me God? And why? were questions taxing my brain. So then I asked God, “So, where do I go now?” and God answered me, “Drive to that children’s hospital that you’ve wanted to volunteer at for the last several months.”

A nurse friend of mine had been encouraging me to put my healing abilities to the test at a local facility where she was working. I hadn’t yet found the courage to actually show up at that point, and here was God telling me, right after falling down a 15ft hole, that I should choose now, as the perfect time to go.  I heard my directive clearly, but I had serious resistance. Before I could put up much of a fight though, God said that if I drove there now, there would be people there who could attend to my injuries, so I listened and headed to this hospital.

Now I should mention, this was not an ordinary acute care hospital with an emergency room. It was a long-term care facility for children with serious medical issues, primarily without insurance of any kind, with no families to speak of, or had been abandoned years before by their families, and who were destined to live their days out with no real quality of life. Not particularly a happy place to visit.

On this particular Saturday, I drove there, parked my car out in front, carefully slid out the driver’s seat, and proceeded to the entrance doors hunched over like a table and covered in blood. Once inside, I was greeted by a nurse who took one look at me and said, “Oh my God, what happened to you? Don’t move! I’ll be right back.” She hurried back within minutes with a gurney and at least 4 other nurses in tow.

Since this was not an acute care hospital, they had no emergency room in which to treat me. Apparently, they were not accustomed to people wandering in off the streets with injuries either, so they wheeled me in front of the nearest nurse’s station and started taking my vitals and tending to my wounds. One woman asked me my name and what I was doing there. I hesitated to tell her that I was there because God told me to come! I was genuinely concerned they might wheel me next to the psychiatric ward. I just avoided answering the question. In truth, I had no idea why I was there. I was just following directions.

So here’s where it gets good. There was a moment when all the nurses working on me, left me alone telling me they would be right back. There I was laying on this gurney staring up at the ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights when suddenly God says to me, “Okay, now get up and walk down the hall until you get to the last door on your right.” So I did. I shuffled down the hall, entered the room to find three little girls in three adjacent beds. I wandered over to the third bed furthest away from the door and closest to the window facing the courtyard.

There was a small red headed young girl about 5 years old laying in the bed staring with fixed eyes out the window. I stood by her bed and at first said nothing. Then I was moved to speak. First, I said to her that I was really upset. That I had wanted to come there to pray with them but now I was there in pain. I told her how I had just 30 minutes earlier, fallen down a hole and had hurt myself badly and was frankly really angry about it now. Just then, the little girl turns her head toward me, smiles and puts out her hand for me to hold. I held her hand for a moment thinking this had to be the sweetest little girl to do such a thing.

Then all of a sudden I hear loud urgent voices coming in our direction, “Where is she? Where did she go?” One of the nurses enters the room, sees me, and says accusingly, “What are you doing in here?” She grabs my arm and drags me back to the awaiting gurney at the nurse’s station. I laid back down and said to the nurse, “That little girl was so sweet to me. She looked at me so caringly and held my hand, what a sweetie.” She says to me dismissively, “What? That did not happen.” I said, “What do you mean it didn’t happen? Yes, it did.” 

Then the head nurse who had been standing behind the nurse’s station and listening quietly says, “I’ll be right back” and disappears. She returned a few moments later visibly shaken. She asks me almost suspiciously, “Excuse me, what did you say to her?” So I say, “I don’t know, I just told her that I was upset, that I had fallen down a hole and I was mad about it.” At that moment, the nurse softened her defenses and almost in disbelief says, “Oh my God. That child has been in a catatonic state for nearly 3 years now. She hasn’t moved a muscle or responded to anything in all that time. I just checked in on her. She's responding.” She paused for a moment as if she was putting the pieces of a puzzle together in her head. “She was brought in here as a toddler. Her mother threw her down a set of stairs. She’s been completely non-responsive ever since, until just now”.

Her name was Heather. That’s all I know. She was 5 at the time. I heard later that she was released from that facility not long after to go live with a relative. She would be 20 years old now.

God most certainly works in mysterious ways, and I don’t claim to always understand those ways. My best estimation of what happened was that Heather had been thrown down a set of stairs by the person who was the closest to her, her mother. She was pre-language at the time and had no way to process mentally or emotionally such a betrayal. She retreated back into herself; the only place she felt safe. Somehow when I came along, and told her that I had fallen down too and was really angry about it, it unlocked her from her self-imposed isolation and helped her identify with her own pain.

I continued to visit this facility every Saturday over the next month. This was the first of several miracles that took place there over a short period of time. Interestingly, my injuries only lasted long enough to serve for this event.  I had absolutely no visible bruises or marks on my body the very next day.

I’m still not sure why this happened to me, except I can tell you that falling down that hole that day most definitely changed my life and firmly put me on the path to being a healer. I am constantly reminded though that God can only work through an open heart and an open mind, and that all things are possible in God. Your only qualification to facilitate a miracle either for yourself or another is to be open and willing, and get all sense of limitations out of the way. No other qualifications, skills, experience, or credentials are needed. We all have the equal ability to be used by God in such ways. Today could be your day!

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

PS. You can heal, and you don't have to do it alone! If you or someone you know needs support in healing any issue, whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, please feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Spiritual Truth about Ugly Fighting - Part 1 (Practicing the Art of Being Wrong)



Twenty-five years ago, a friend of mine sat me down on a curb and said the ugliest thing she could ever possibly say to me. At least, that’s how I felt about it at the time. It was heinous really, horribly painful and yes…. I took it deeply personally.  I couldn’t believe anyone who claimed to love me, would ever say something like that…especially to my face! I mean, couldn’t she have the common decency to keep her feelings to herself? Better yet, why wasn’t she like the other people in my life who just distanced themselves from me quietly,  and then disappeared out of my life forever leaving me to wonder why? I was used to that. What I wasn’t used to was having someone tell me to my face how they felt…to tell me their truth, no matter how ugly it sounded, no matter how I would feel or react. When I think about it now, it was a pure act of bravery on her part.

That day, that conversation changed me. It hurt so badly I could hardly breathe, but in the midst of my pain I heard something. I heard that there was a gift in this for me….and if I could hear what she was saying just beyond the blame and judgment, (my own and hers) I would find it.

Then, the gift was made apparent: She was telling me the truth….Yikes.

I am no shrinking flower. You should know that about me. I don’t take things lying down normally. If I feel scorned you will know about it, especially back in those days. So, this is what she was up against. She had to look me in the eye, knowing this conversation was probably not going to go well, and tell me anyway.  

To this day, I will always appreciate the fact that instead of giving up on me, she fought for me. She gave me the benefit of the doubt, believed I was worth it, and risked everything to tell me her truth in the face of serious backlash.

I learned that day that sometimes you have to be willing to be wrong to be ultimately happy. I could have defended my position, made her wrong, fought back just to be “right” and to feel better temporarily, but something inside me decided to yield instead, to take in what she said however clumsily articulated, and to hear the truth of it.

After many years of practicing, I am now proud to tell you I am mastering the art of being wrong! And I am a much better person for it.


To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

PS. You can heal, and you don't have to do it alone! If you or someone you know needs support in healing any issue, whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, please feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation.