Showing posts with label Avoidance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Avoidance. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

My Secret


I’m about to tell you a story that I’ve never told publicly, and only a handful of people in my life know. But I’ve been getting an inner-directive for quite some time now to share this. It’s literally a secret I’ve been keeping for over 30 years. To say I’ve been reluctant to share it, is a giant understatement. I’ve been petrified to share it. But one thing most people do know about me is, if nothing else, I’m obedient to Spirit......but, I wasn't always.

So where do I start? I guess almost from the beginning…

In 1990, I began working as an executive recruiter at a company in Los Angeles. I hadn’t been there very long, when one day I received an odd call at my desk. It was from someone I didn’t know; a woman whose name I have long forgotten. She asked if I was Donna Gershman, and I said, yes. She told me I didn’t know her, but that she had important information for me. She said that what she was going to tell me would be strange. She proceeded to say that she was having an important gathering at her house in El Segundo, CA on a particular night, and that just 10 people were being invited, and I was one of them. She said it was important for me to attend, but would not give me any other details except to reassure me that I would be safe. She gave me her telephone number, address, date of the gathering and time, and then hung up. That’s all the information I had at the time. No explanation of what the gathering was about, how she got my name and number, why I was being invited, nothing! I still don’t know. It was the strangest call I had ever received, but something in me just knew I had to go.

To give you some context, I was 27 years old at the time. I had moved to Los Angeles just four years earlier from the East Coast, right out of college. Some of you might remember that I was a comedienne at the time. That was my night job. So, I was much more of a risk taker then. It never really occurred to me that I could walk into a bad situation and be abducted or murdered. I was young, fearless and wildly independent in those years. So, when that fateful day came, I used my trusted “Thomas Guide” and navigated myself to a stranger’s home in El Segundo, armed with just the curiosity of a cat. When I think about it now, if that call had come when I was in my 40s or later, I might not have gone that night. Too much logic would have dissuaded me and my life would probably look very different now.

I arrived at the gathering a few minutes late. When I entered the home, I walked into a small living room where there were nine people already sitting on folding chairs, and a man at the front of the room speaking. Everyone was taking notes fervently and hanging on to every word he was saying. I had never seen this man before and didn’t know a single person in the room. I sat down in the remaining seat left for me and tried to make sense of what was going on. Turned out, this man was dictating the metabolic cure for cancer. He was speaking so fast; the words were just flying through his mouth. It seemed to be a series of scientific equations, etc.… but nothing I could really grasp or hold on to with my human mind. I also wasn’t able to take notes, as it never occurred to me to bring paper and pen to this event.

After he finished speaking, they broke for a brief intermission so people could use the Loo and have some snacks. I still had no idea what this whole thing was about or why I was even there, but I got up with the others and wandered into the kitchen. A minute later, the gentleman who had been speaking approached me. He asked, “Are you Donna Gershman?

I said, “Yes.” He then said, “You don’t know why you’re here, do you?” I said, “No, I don’t.” He proceeded to tell me his name was Kevin Ryerson. I felt like I had heard his name somewhere before, but couldn’t place where. My mind was searching frantically when I remembered. I had read his name in a book four years earlier. The book was “Dancing in the Light” by Shirley MacLaine; one of the few possessions that I had chosen to bring with me on my six-week cross country move to California. I treasured that book. It almost never left my hands, until it mysteriously disappeared the day I arrived in California. I was upset at the time, but ultimately made it mean that I must not have needed the book anymore, and someone else needed it more. I have credited that book, along with another Shirley MacLaine book, “Out on a Limb” with helping me get firmly rooted on my spiritual path as a young person. I have since discovered that those two books were the gateway for many, many people to get on their Spiritual path.

In Shirley MacLaine’s book, she referred to Kevin Ryerson as her Medium. I remembered his name because it was the first time I had ever heard that word, “Medium” and the very first time I had a word to explain some strange things happening in my own life.

What he said to me next blew my mind honestly, and I’m sure it will blow yours too.

He said, “I’m here to deliver you a message. You do something no other person does on the planet. There has only been one other person in history that has been able to do what you do, and his name was Edgar Cayce.” I did not know who that was or have any idea what he did. He went on to tell me that “People who channel, channel a specific entity, but you channel the God Head.” I stood there like a deer in headlights. I vaguely knew what he was talking about, but he was putting words to things that I never had words for. He must have sensed my confusion because he then asked, “When you channel with people, they have no memory of it later, right?” I nodded yes. “Doesn’t your body temperature drop dramatically?” I nodded yes. “Haven’t you come close to dying a few times after channeling with people?” I again nodded yes. I was stupefied at this point. He went on to tell me that I needed to cut these sessions off much sooner to protect my body and by not doing that, I was overwhelming my system which was dangerous for me. He said that I was also overwhelming the other person’s system who I was channeling for, and that was why they didn’t have any memory of it later. He stressed that I wouldn’t be doing anyone any good, especially myself by allowing my channeling sessions to go on for too long. He said I could die. Apparently, “Spiritual Truth by Firehose” was not an optimal technique.

As a reminder, this was circa 1990, well before google was a thing. Kevin Ryerson knew everything that I had been experiencing, and through his own channeling was directed to how to find me and what message to give me. That’s how good he was as a channel.

I didn’t tell anyone about what happened that night for many years. In fact, I chose not to channel anymore after that. I didn’t trust myself to know when to shut the sessions down. Up until that day, channeling would happen very randomly. I could not plan it, predict it or initiate it. It would happen organically when I was having a deep conversation with someone. Sometimes it would happen at very inopportune times, like when I was driving with someone in the car and I was behind the wheel. The questions would start to come and I would answer them one by one, and then my body temperature would drop and I would start shaking uncontrollably from the cold. I would get progressively drained to the point where I was at exhaustion. The person I was channeling for wouldn’t even seem to notice, almost as if they were in a trance state. But even when I was completely depleted, as crazy as it may sound, I didn’t think it was my right to end the session. I thought that if someone was that open and eager to know the Truth, I should allow them to determine when they were done. It felt selfish otherwise. But I knew that what Kevin Ryerson told me that night was right. It explained everything. I was just scared for it to happen again. Sometimes, after a channeling session, it would take me days, sometimes a week to recover. I knew it was not good for me, but I felt channeling was a sacred process and I knew I was being used by God, so who was I to interrupt it?

One example comes to mind specifically; the night I channeled with my mother, which was about a year before I met Kevin Ryerson. My step father was in the hospital dying of cancer. My mother and I had just come home from visiting him when we started having a deep conversation about death. The questions started coming and I found myself in the same situation, not knowing how to end the session with her. But this time it was even harder because of our emotional connection. I just wanted my mother to have every bit of information I could give her; to help her with what she was going through and what she was about to face; losing the love of her life. But once again, the firehose approach proved to be more detrimental than anything else. In addition to losing her husband, she almost lost her daughter too, and she had no recollection of what had even happened.

After my discussion with Mr. Ryerson, I was honestly happy to leave the whole subject behind me. I hadn’t asked for any of this and I didn’t want it. I certainly didn’t see it as a gift at that time. It was only complicating my life and causing me fear and confusion. Although I knew that my abilities were in the service of God, I just figured I would find another way to serve, and God would find someone better suited for this.

That’s where I left it for 10 years or so.

I may not have known how to appropriately end a channeling session in a safe and timely way without being a fire hose for God, I did however, know how to prevent the whole drama from happening in the first place. Whenever I felt a conversation was leading in that direction, I simply avoided going there; possibly changing the subject altogether. “Can you excuse me? I have to use the Ladies room.” or “How ‘bout those Dodgers?”

I was very successful at avoiding the gift I was given.

Then, after many years of using avoidance successfully, I realized my life wasn’t shaping up to how I wanted it to be. I wasn’t happy and I never would have thought for a minute that my avoiding channeling, would be connected to or responsible for that reality in any way. It turned out it absolutely was. Not channeling was hurting me, and also not helping anyone else.

I decided that I would stop avoiding and try not to get in the way of “something happening” again, but first, I had a serious conversation with God that went something like this: “Don’t let me die!” 

In all seriousness, I knew I had to work this out with God to be able to channel, but in a way that was sustainable, and where I felt safe doing it. So, God helped me to modulate the energy coming through me, so I could continue doing it, but in a way where I could manage it better.

That brings me to where I am today. I have been channeling God and/or Jesus with my clients for many years now. Some know, some suspect and some have no idea. I find myself selectively mentioning it, which is actually God’s guidance on the matter. Honestly, it’s not always important that they know. If they are at the point where they truly want to grow or heal, they will. For my clients who know I channel God, they are able to move through things quicker I feel. For those not ready to know, they can have a longer road to self-awareness, growth, healing and creating the life they truly deserve. Although we get the Truth a myriad of ways in our life, because of our own stubbornness to listen, sometimes we end up having to learn the hard way.

What I have learned from my own resistance is that it's futile, causes me a lot of pain, and only prolongs my own fulfillment. Whatever your gift, seize it, even if it scares the Bejesus out of you. Know that there is a way, (and God will help you find it), to do the thing you do best, make a difference in the world, while paving the way for the life you came here to live and that you deserve. It'll all come easier and quicker if you just listen to your inner guidance (God), and say YES.

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman

PS. If you have been dealing with resistance and feel stuck, or finding it hard to move forward in your life, please call my office for a free Consultation at 818-570-1411 or email me at youwillheal@aol.com

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Chasing the Hare

Mr. Gerke made a difference. He was my high school English teacher. One time, he assigned the class a creative writing project and gave us an entire month to complete it. I remember having a great idea on what I would write about, and being extremely excited to do it. But the entire month went by, and when it came time to hand it in, I didn't.

Mr. Gerke came up to me after class and without asking me why I didn't turn it in, he simply said, “Donna, I'm giving you a homework assignment. I want you to go home and write the worst paper you have ever written.” I looked at him bewildered. What did he mean by the worst paper ever? How was I going to do that? And why? Then he made me promise that no matter what, I would turn it in the next day.

So, I went home and proceeded to write what I considered to be a really, bad paper. But still, I remember having thoughts like, “What if this isn't bad enough?” “What do I have to do to make this worse?” and struggling with the assignment. The next day, I begrudgingly passed it in. Mr. Gerke took one look at it and immediately put an A+ at the top of the paper without so much as reading a single sentence. I said to him, “Wait! Aren't you even going to read it? And why are you giving me an A+ on a bad paper?”

Mr Gerke quietly turned to me and said, “Donna, what you need to realize is that your worst, is better than most people’s best. All you need to do, is just turn it in.” I could still cry when I think of that moment.

Mr. Gerke had the wisdom to know that my problem was not that I didn't want to do the work, but that I was afraid to do it. I was afraid of it not being perfect. I would have big ideas in my head, but somehow they never seemed to be as good, once executed. This led me to feel that no matter what I did, it was never as good as the actual idea and therefore always felt that my work was not good enough.

Even then, as a child, I knew I was blessed with great big ideas that were not necessarily coming from me. I knew I was being gifted with them, but with that, came a great responsibility. Somehow, I felt I was failing God by not having the final product match perfectly with the original idea. That’s why I had a problem turning in my homework. It was often more palatable for me to turn in nothing than to turn in something that didn’t rise to the vision.

Mr. Gerke, in his wisdom recognized that I had a typical perfection complex, the need to try to be perfect in everything I did. And by the way, I still do. But, his words to me, still reverberate in my head 35 years later. “Just turn it in.”

Now, when I counsel kids on the weekends who want to go to college, and their parents tell me that their child does the homework, but never turns it in, I think of Mr. Gerke, and how he made a young girl feel seen and understood for the very first time. I tell them this story. I tell them they're good enough just as they are. I tell them to turn it in, no matter what.

I still struggle with following through and completing things, but most of all, about feeling good about the things I do complete. I have come to understand, that our idea of perfection is an elusive counterpart. Like chasing the mechanical hare in a greyhound race, you will never catch up to it, and trying to, will only make you feel worse. Best thing to do is trust that the real assignment is not how good something is, but whether you turned it in at all. Did you show up? Did you say yes? Did you allow the vision to be made real through you? If yes, then you've done your part. Feel good about it.

So, run your race, write your play, sing your song.... Know you are good enough right now. The pursuit of perfection should never be the goal. It's knowing that whatever you do is perfect as it is, and you are perfect and always will be, just as you are.


To The Truth That Sets Us all Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

Are you wanting to move forward on a dream, or to change something in your life? Do you feel stuck, and know you're in your own way? Let's move that boulder together. Feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation or 20 minute tune-UP! All sessions are conducted by telephone or Skype.

* PS. Thank you, Mr. Gerke. And, sorry for starting this sentence with AND.


                                           Mr Gerke reading my article 

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Getting Out of Here Alive

Lately, I seem to be preoccupied with the subject of death.

(....What did she just say???? Did she just say the "D" word?)
Okay, hear me out...

Look, I realize that death is not everyone's favorite subject....and it's certainly not mine, but it's on my mind a lot these days. Maybe it's because I lost a friend recently, or because this past year I had a close call myself, or maybe because I am dangerously approaching the big 5-0. I'm not sure, but the thing that I am realizing more than anything, is that I have spent most of my life dodging the subject. I don't want to think about it, face it, and least of all, embrace it. That would be like a direct invitation to the grim reaper, himself. I will have no part of it! I will get out of here alive, if it's the last thing I do!!! In fact, I have decided to skirt death altogether. Who's with me?

The truth is though, I'm just plain tired of running from it, avoiding it at all cost, resisting it, worrying, obsessing, freaking, negotiating, bargaining, bartering, being a good little girl, and all the other things I do to fend it off. Let's face it, it takes a lot of energy, energy I could be using for something more inspired.

Maybe it's just time to stop running....to accept it, to look death straight into it's little beedie eyes and say,
"I surrender, take me already!" It would probably be a welcomed relief from all these "death deferring" antics of mine. Who knows, maybe then I can really begin to live.

I don't know about you, but a lot of what has scared me about death is not knowing what's going to happen.
Wait....isn't that the SAME EXACT reason I have for every fear of mine?

This has me thinking: Maybe I do know how it's all going to end. Maybe I can deal with the idea of death, the same way I deal with everything else in my Life.

When a situation presents itself to me, first, I ACCEPT what IS.

Then I TRUST what IS.....

(in other words, I trust that what IS, is not happening for no reason at all, and is not meant to be a punishment, but rather happening by Divine Purpose.)

Next, I EMBRACE the idea that what IS, is actually good, and is for me.

(so, I don't  need to resist what IS, because that just leads to more pain).

Finally, I OPEN to seeing the gift in what IS.

This formula has helped me through many events in my life, that at first seemed like insurmountable challenges, with the result being Grace and Ease versus suffering and struggle.

Of course, death seems like a pretty sizable challenge. Not your everyday variety of letting go, is it?
But, I'm pretty sure that's why it comes last.....

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

PS. You can heal, and you don't need to do it alone! If you or someone you know needs support in healing a physical, emotional or spiritual issue, please feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com or contact my office at (818)904-6840.