Spiritual Relationship Hacks; How To Attract Your Perfect Partner.

I have spent most of my 55 years on the planet wondering if I would someday meet my perfect life partner, the love of my life. Actually, I didn't just wonder. I worried. I feared. I obsessed. I made vision boards. I read hundreds of relationship books. I went to therapy. I went to Practitioners. I worked on Mommy issues. I worked on Daddy issues. I went on dating sights. I dated. I moved in. They moved in. It worked. It didn't work. I loved. I lost. I let go. It hurt like hell. I recovered. And then, I rinsed and repeated over and over again.

Mostly, I have worried that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I didn't have a beautiful enough body. I didn't have enough money. I wasn't successful enough. There might be something wrong with me...on and on. And I wondered why I wasn't drawing that perfect person into my life!!
I can't help but see the irony of it all now, and the humor frankly.

It was like I was wanting the Universe to present me the perfect person for me, you know, the one I had described a thousand different times in my journals, that had all those amazing qualities, all while I talked trash about me, and thought of myself as not really deserving! So apparently, I was wanting to find someone that was way better than me who would be happy with someone way less than they deserved! Are you seeing the irony yet?

Seriously, are we actually telling the Universe that we want to attract the perfect person while we secretly believe we're critically flawed? Looks like Mr. Right or Mrs. Right is headed towards the short end of the stick!!!

This is just not how it works. For you to attract that perfect person to you, you actually have to see yourself as worthy. You have to know you're a catch! You can't pretend to be one. You can't just act like you love yourself or love your own company. You have to fall in love with who you are. You have to first and foremost, fall in love with yourself. After all, when Mr. or Ms. Right walks into your life, don't they deserve the best back? So, if you're going to show up to the party, don't show up with a half a bag of broken pretzels and expect to attract a full bag to you. Truthfully, do you really want to be that person who brings a small container of hummus to the potluck and then takes home containers of leftovers?

So, here's what it comes down to. It's not that you have to become someone you're not, or someone you think others would want. It's not that you need to become someone better than you currently are. You don't need to remake yourself. You need to own who you already are. You need to know that you are perfect just as you are right now. All of your fears and worries about not being good enough; none of that is real. I know it can feel real, but did you know that it can feel real and true without it actually being real or true? We can have a fear of the dark and not actually have anything there to hurt us, right? Fear can be compelling but also a good liar.

Here's the deal. God made you perfect and God wants you to know it! Simple but not always easy. Ask yourself this: Would you want to date you? Why? Do you know, really know deep down inside that you're a catch? Because you absolutely need to know that, and if you don't, then that's your work.
Look at it this way. Do you want to attract a partner who has low self-esteem and doesn't really know who they are? I think not. Remember, I'm not talking about attracting a "Mr. or Ms. Okay, for now". I'm talking about attracting your Forever Life Partner. The key is to accept that you are a serious catch, no matter what your mind tries to tell you. No matter what you think is lacking in you or broken or missing altogether. The Reality is that you are way better than you think you are. A book that was written thousands of years ago says, "You are made from God's Image and Likeness and out of Perfection". Wow, can you imagine that? If not, that's where I would start.

I have a theory. I believe that the moment we genuinely understand and accept that about ourselves is the same moment we become available to having what we truly want. We're not really available to our good until we do. Most of the time, because of our resistance to knowing our perfection, we go through life accepting scraps and making choices that are less than what we truly deserve. But once we awake to our full throttle perfection in God, once we embrace all of who we are unconditionally, "all things are added unto us".

Fall in love with yourself and your life. Remember who made you.
I had a friend once say to me that her life was so great without a partner, that she would need to meet the Perfect person before she would consider changing her life for anyone. I thought that was a good measure for loving oneself. Love your life so much that you are discerning about whether you should change your life for someone else. Can you say that right now about you and your life? If not, become that person and you will draw more to you than you know what to do with. Your biggest problem will be fending them off.

Last year, at the age of 54, I met my forever person, and next year at the age of 56, I will be getting married for the very first time in my life. Honestly, it took me this long to accept that I was a catch. But, as soon as I did, she appeared in my life and I literally didn't have to do a single thing to make it happen. It is more than obvious to me now, that if I only knew then what I know now, and what I am sharing here with you, she might have found me sooner. But nonetheless, once you wake up to your true perfection in God, not from an "act-as-if" place or pretending, but from a genuine knowing, "all things are added unto you" and "all the time the locusts have eaten is given back to you". Truly, the only thing necessary to attracting your perfect life partner is real Self-Love.

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman

Are you ready to go from Complacency to Conquering in your life?  Let's remove whatever road blocks have been in your way. Spiritual work is the gift that keeps on giving. With a slight shift in Consciousness, your life can change dramatically for the better. Call me for a Free Consultation at (818)904-6840 or email me at youwillheal@aol.com
For a change to happen, you must make a change....

The House That God Bought (Part 2) (When Faith Is Hard to Find)

It is widely accepted that buying any habitable home in Los Angeles, as a single, self-employed person is not easy. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could get the entire population of 4 million people here to agree with that statement. But, what's that have to do with the TRUTH???

When you live in my world and are surrounded by other Miracle minded people, you live in an altered state of reality most of the time, and that's good. You want to live in an altered state of reality because why would you want to be plagued with limiting beliefs? Why would you want to join into other people's limiting thoughts and then get other people to agree with you on them? You wouldn't. In order to have what you want, you absolutely have to think out of the ordinary box that almost every living person thinks from, the linear one.

For example, linear thoughts sound like this. "I don't make enough money to buy that house". "My credit isn't good enough". "I don't have enough for the down payment". They all sound reasonable, right? And most people would agree with those beliefs." Yah, you're probably not going to be able to do it". Or how about the people who actually volunteer to share their limiting thoughts with you so you can borrow them? I call them naysayers. They are the non-believers. "Well, when Joe and I bought our house, it took us almost 40 years to save what we needed. Maybe it's just better for you to rent, dear" Yikes, who wants to hear that? But they just planted that seed right into your Consciousness without maybe either of you knowing it. Now, you will secretly be harboring a fear that it'll take you years to make it happen and maybe you should just give up on the idea because it just doesn't make sense!!!!

NOPE! These are just fears born from false beliefs and they have nothing to do with how the Universe actually works. It works according to YOUR beliefs, which you have complete control over, except for the ones you might not be aware of, for instance, the subconscious ones. If you understand how much your beliefs matter, then staying mindful of your thoughts is critical. The real pesky ones are the ones you're not exactly aware of, but are having field-day in your Consciousness and causing havoc in your life.

To get to those, you have to be radically honest with yourself.....There's an old expression that goes like this: "If you ever want to know what you believe, try looking at your life!" You can also ask yourself some tough questions like, "Do I really believe I can have what I want?" "Do I feel worthy of having what I want?" "What do I really believe about this?" I bet you'll start discovering what you really believe, and whatever that is, count on it making itself known in your life, good or bad.

So this brings me to the story about "The House That God Bought." First of all, you should know, it's my house! God bought it for me! I mean it. It sure as heck wasn't me. Afterall, I'm a single person living in LA where houses cost a small fortune and I'm a Spiritual Counselor, not Rockefeller. You feeling me? But here's the thing I do know. None of that matters when you know how to make the Law of the Universe work for you, which I definitely do. And you can too.

Just to keep it real, this did not happen overnight. It took me 17 years to be exact. I rented all those years and never really thought I would ever be able to buy it. When the landlord called one day and said he had to sell it, I almost blew a Spiritual gasket! I couldn't imagine not being able to live here anymore. I love this place. But, I just could not see how I could do it. The math simply didn't add up.

The thing is though, God had a different plan. I kept meeting people, strangers who would say the most incredible things to me. One day on an airplane, a woman who was sitting next to me told me that she was a mortgage broker. At this point, I already had no less than 15 mortgage brokers tell me flat out, "NO". "No Way!" "Sorry" "It ain't happening" and my favorite one, "Are you dreaming right now?" Well, that one was my mother. Anyway, this woman  (you know who you are) looked at me straight in the eyes and asked me where was my FAITH? She just kept saying, "Oh, it's going to happen. You're going to buy that house!" I looked at her like she was on crack. At that moment, as nice as it was to hear, I had to admit she was right, I lacked complete faith. I just could not wrap my mind around the possibility of it happening because I was glued to the linear facts, and I had 15 mortgage brokers confirming I was right.

Then one day the Landlord called me back and said he had to put the sale of the home on the backburner for a while because of a personal issue. I was so relieved. I knew it would eventually circle back around, but for now, I had a slight reprieve from the daily worry of where I was going to move when I couldn't buy the house!

In that year, things changed in my life. More money came to me. I had a more secure income, and the most important detail of all, I started leaning into other people's faith because I knew I lacked my own on this issue. Sometimes you have to borrow someone else's faith and be willing to suspend your own lack of belief, so you can actually get what you want. I was totally willing to be wrong about what I thought I was right about! In other words, if being wrong meant I could get the house, I was down with that.

It's really amazing when I think about it, just how attached we get to our ideas even when they are self-sabotaging. We would rather have a negative outcome and prove ourselves "right" than to do the inner work necessary to change our thinking. Sometimes, we'll even fight for "our limiting beliefs" with other people. Just for the record, when you start a sentence with, "you just don't understand", you're probably fighting for your limitations. So I would catch myself saying to people who were trying to encourage me to have faith, things like, "You don't understand. I've had 15 people tell me no. It's just not happening. Maybe I need to start thinking about moving". I had turned into my own version of Debbie Downer.

Sometimes, I think we're afraid to believe. We're afraid to jump in with both feet and commit to believing something good can happen for us. After all, if it didn't come to pass, the disappointment would be devastating. It might actually kill our Spirit and keep us from ever wanting anything ever again. Maybe that's why I wasn't willing to believe something this important to me, something I've always dreamt of, (owning my own house), could actually happen for me. These are the things that happen to "other", more fortunate people than me, I thought. Somewhere in my subconscious, I actually believed that I could not have what I wanted. I wasn't good enough and I didn't deserve it. Sound familiar? I'm hoping it does, otherwise, I have to face the fact that I'm the only one that has dark unconscious self-sabotaging beliefs operating that keep me from having what I want sometimes, especially if I don't stay aware and intervene in them.

So, I decided to lean into my friend's and my Practitioner's understanding. For them, it was easy to see something good happening for me. They weren't all caught up in the "how's" like I was. They were simply "holding the space" for the highest and best to happen. Each of them would affirm that it was already done in the mind of God, that it was God's good pleasure for me to have this house. They knew that my desire for this house was really God's vision for me and therefore God knew how to make it happen.

I have learned that to actually have what we want, we must be willing to claim it, remove all doubt from our mind (in other words, get out of our own way), give ourselves permission to have it and then just allow it to happen. We often think we have to negotiate with God, beg, and plead our case. Just know all negotiating is with ourselves. God is already a yes.

So, armed with the faith of a mustard seed, and I mean that small, but also a legion of prayer warriors knowing the all-possibilities for me, the landlord came down in his price and sold me the house for $200,000 under market value! His words to me at the time were, "Donna, the money I would make on this house will not change my life, but the money you save, will."

The mortgage broker who was helping me said, that in 20 years as a broker she had never seen anything like that. She said it was a miracle and that it renewed her faith in humanity. For me, it renewed my faith in possibility thinking, the necessity of coming out of linear thinking when creating my dreams, and the power of a prayer posse to know the Truth when I just couldn't do it for myself. 

Ultimately, I had to "own" the idea that God was for me, God planted this dream in my heart and therefore, it was what God wanted for me too, before I could "own" my own house.

When something you want and dream of looks impossible, know that's the Universe's way of asking you to stretch your Faith and get out of your own way. ALL things are possible, especially our dreams when we come out of our own limiting thinking, and trust that the Universe already knows how to fulfill them without us having to figure it all out. 

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman 


Are you wanting to move forward on a dream, or to change something in your life? Do you feel stuck, and know you're in your own way? Let's move that boulder together. Feel free to email
me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free consultation or a  20-Minute Tune-UP! All sessions are conducted by telephone or SKYPE

Manifesting Made Easy

As a Spiritual teacher, I am a believer that our thoughts matter, that the thoughts we hold and give power to, how we focus our attention in other words, lends towards creating our human experience. If you hold an idea in mind long enough and believe in it wholeheartedly, the likelihood of it manifesting is good. That's why its important to hold onto our dreams with passion and a commitment to them.

Everything we see in the human world began with a divine idea. The chair you are sitting on is the result of someone, somewhere having an idea of it first, holding onto it long enough, being committed to it, likely through various challenges, until it came to full fruition. A lot goes into creating something we want to see. It takes a firm belief for something to manifest. The thing is, the better you are at holding an idea without buying into fear and limitations, the better the chances are you will create it. The more faith you have, the better. The more passion you have for it, the better. 


However, this principle also works in the reverse. If we have a belief we hold onto that we don't want to see happen, our tendency to energize that thought with fear is counterproductive. If we believe in something with passion, it can manifest. Therefore, our fear of something happening, that we don't want to see happen is also powerful and likely to manifest if we're not intervening in those thoughts. Yikes!

In reality, we are very powerful. We can create what we want. We can create what we don't want, and it's in our power at any given time, to change our thoughts and create a different experience. This puts our human experience squarely in our own hands with the use of our free will. So the question we always need to be asking ourselves individually and collectively is, where do we go from here? What do we want to see happen? What belief am I holding around that idea? Do I believe in its fulfillment or am I in doubt or fear over it?

In addition, if we, as a people want to see something different happening in our world, we must collectively believe in the possibilities instead of fueling our fears. We must hold steady and firm to our vision and with every ounce of faith we can muster up, move in the direction of it. We can not let our worst fears undermine our ability to create what we really want and deserve.

Simply put, stay positive, believe in the good happening and keep taking inspired action each day towards the vision. As a bonus, there's literally a bible verse that says, "where two or more are gathered" meaning when you agree on the vision with just one other person, it will actually magnify it's likelihood of manifestation.

Let's use the power available to us in the Universe to consciously create what we want to see in our individual lives, our country and in our world. We absolutely have the power to do that.

To The Truth That Sets Us all Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

Are you wanting to move forward on a dream, or to change something in your life? Do you feel stuck, and know you're in your own way? Let's move that boulder together. Feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation or 20 minute tune-UP! All sessions are conducted by telephone or Skype.

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Chasing the Hare

Mr. Gerke made a difference. He was my high school English teacher. One time, he assigned the class a creative writing project and gave us an entire month to complete it. I remember having a great idea on what I would write about, and being extremely excited to do it. But the entire month went by, and when it came time to hand it in, I didn't.

Mr. Gerke came up to me after class and without asking me why I didn't turn it in, he simply said, “Donna, I'm giving you a homework assignment. I want you to go home and write the worst paper you have ever written.” I looked at him bewildered. What did he mean by the worst paper ever? How was I going to do that? And why? Then he made me promise that no matter what, I would turn it in the next day.

So, I went home and proceeded to write what I considered to be a really, bad paper. But still, I remember having thoughts like, “What if this isn't bad enough?” “What do I have to do to make this worse?” and struggling with the assignment. The next day, I begrudgingly passed it in. Mr. Gerke took one look at it and immediately put an A+ at the top of the paper without so much as reading a single sentence. I said to him, “Wait! Aren't you even going to read it? And why are you giving me an A+ on a bad paper?”

Mr Gerke quietly turned to me and said, “Donna, what you need to realize is that your worst, is better than most people’s best. All you need to do, is just turn it in.” I could still cry when I think of that moment.

Mr. Gerke had the wisdom to know that my problem was not that I didn't want to do the work, but that I was afraid to do it. I was afraid of it not being perfect. I would have big ideas in my head, but somehow they never seemed to be as good, once executed. This led me to feel that no matter what I did, it was never as good as the actual idea and therefore always felt that my work was not good enough.

Even then, as a child, I knew I was blessed with great big ideas that were not necessarily coming from me. I knew I was being gifted with them, but with that, came a great responsibility. Somehow, I felt I was failing God by not having the final product match perfectly with the original idea. That’s why I had a problem turning in my homework. It was often more palatable for me to turn in nothing than to turn in something that didn’t rise to the vision.

Mr. Gerke, in his wisdom recognized that I had a typical perfection complex, the need to try to be perfect in everything I did. And by the way, I still do. But, his words to me, still reverberate in my head 35 years later. “Just turn it in.”

Now, when I counsel kids on the weekends who want to go to college, and their parents tell me that their child does the homework, but never turns it in, I think of Mr. Gerke, and how he made a young girl feel seen and understood for the very first time. I tell them this story. I tell them they're good enough just as they are. I tell them to turn it in, no matter what.

I still struggle with following through and completing things, but most of all, about feeling good about the things I do complete. I have come to understand, that our idea of perfection is an elusive counterpart. Like chasing the mechanical hare in a greyhound race, you will never catch up to it, and trying to, will only make you feel worse. Best thing to do is trust that the real assignment is not how good something is, but whether you turned it in at all. Did you show up? Did you say yes? Did you allow the vision to be made real through you? If yes, then you've done your part. Feel good about it.

So, run your race, write your play, sing your song.... Know you are good enough right now. The pursuit of perfection should never be the goal. It's knowing that whatever you do is perfect as it is, and you are perfect and always will be, just as you are.

To The Truth That Sets Us all Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

Are you wanting to move forward on a dream, or to change something in your life? Do you feel stuck, and know you're in your own way? Let's move that boulder together. Feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com, or contact my office at (818)904-6840 for a free telephone consultation or 20 minute tune-UP! All sessions are conducted by telephone or Skype.

* PS. Thank you, Mr. Gerke. And, sorry for starting this sentence with AND.

                                           Mr Gerke reading my article 

Getting Out of Here Alive

Lately, I seem to be preoccupied with the subject of death.

(....What did she just say???? Did she just say the "D" word?)
Okay, hear me out...

Look, I realize that death is not everyone's favorite subject....and it's certainly not mine, but it's on my mind a lot these days. Maybe it's because I lost a friend recently, or because this past year I had a close call myself, or maybe because I am dangerously approaching the big 5-0. I'm not sure, but the thing that I am realizing more than anything, is that I have spent most of my life dodging the subject. I don't want to think about it, face it, and least of all, embrace it. That would be like a direct invitation to the grim reaper, himself. I will have no part of it! I will get out of here alive, if it's the last thing I do!!! In fact, I have decided to skirt death altogether. Who's with me?

The truth is though, I'm just plain tired of running from it, avoiding it at all cost, resisting it, worrying, obsessing, freaking, negotiating, bargaining, bartering, being a good little girl, and all the other things I do to fend it off. Let's face it, it takes a lot of energy, energy I could be using for something more inspired.

Maybe it's just time to stop running....to accept it, to look death straight into it's little beedie eyes and say,
"I surrender, take me already!" It would probably be a welcomed relief from all these "death deferring" antics of mine. Who knows, maybe then I can really begin to live.

I don't know about you, but a lot of what has scared me about death is not knowing what's going to happen.
Wait....isn't that the SAME EXACT reason I have for every fear of mine?

This has me thinking: Maybe I do know how it's all going to end. Maybe I can deal with the idea of death, the same way I deal with everything else in my Life.

When a situation presents itself to me, first, I ACCEPT what IS.

Then I TRUST what IS.....

(in other words, I trust that what IS, is not happening for no reason at all, and is not meant to be a punishment, but rather happening by Divine Purpose.)

Next, I EMBRACE the idea that what IS, is actually good, and is for me.

(so, I don't  need to resist what IS, because that just leads to more pain).

Finally, I OPEN to seeing the gift in what IS.

This formula has helped me through many events in my life, that at first seemed like insurmountable challenges, with the result being Grace and Ease versus suffering and struggle.

Of course, death seems like a pretty sizable challenge. Not your everyday variety of letting go, is it?
But, I'm pretty sure that's why it comes last.....

To The Truth That Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP

PS. You can heal, and you don't need to do it alone! If you or someone you know needs support in healing a physical, emotional or spiritual issue, please feel free to email me at youwillheal@aol.com or contact my office at (818)904-6840.